why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
