you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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