everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
