It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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