We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
