I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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