I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
