Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
