You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
