I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
