All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
