there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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