Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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