Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
