what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
