I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
