Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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