just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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