Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
they need to just BURY HIM!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
