If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
