Non-Jews are for practice
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
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