i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she told me i tasted like america
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
