How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
