the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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