so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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