Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
