if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize