hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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