i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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