Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
