it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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