i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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