im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
