Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
