I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
