and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize