After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
