3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
