i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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