Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
