I'm eating all of the evidence.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize