i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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