his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Floor bacon is actually really good
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize