Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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