i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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