Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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