I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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