Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
