Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
