Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Are we still banned from the library?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
