now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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