Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
