She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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