whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
