I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
