I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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