I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
