They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
