How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize