kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
