bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize