As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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