They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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