I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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