I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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