I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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