i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
