I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's always time for handjobs
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
