i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
