He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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