why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
