Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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